*** WARNING: This post contains harsh complaints and opinions, as well as lots of cursing and bitching. If you're a bit weak at heart, don't read the following. Also, keep in mind that none of these comments were personally aimed at any users on Rainwave and should not be taken personally by anyone. I don't want any PMs or comment by people having their wittle feelings hurt and crying like butt-hurt princesses. You have been warned. ***
Reviewed and denied.
Surprised? You shouldn't be. If you are, scroll back up and read who composed for this (on the provided album art). I personally don't know the composer, but read his name out loud. What does it sound like? You read it, yeah?.... An American name, that's right. Or British or I don't give a fuck: his name is Western-ish and that's all that matters. “Why?” you may ask. Well, because it's a trend nowadays that the popular games in North America are, well, American or European. With games being made by Western companies comes the Western composers as well (aside from Retro Studio with Kenji Yamamoto... Thank you, Retro Studio, for being awesome <3). Why would the whereabouts of a composer really matter? If you're a regular, you know what I'm going to say but if you're not here's why: Western composers’ music fucking SUCKS. Or well, it sucks Rainwave-wise. Let me explain:
Firstly, Western composers such as this gentleman who composed for Uncharted are incredibly uninspired. There are a few exceptions, but sadly these extraordinary exceptions seem to be jobless lately because it's another fucking trend to have stupid-ass bland soundtracks in your game (David Wise, please save my sanity). I hate with a passion composers who just go for the "dramatic" movie score-like soundtracks in a game. It's annoying as hell sitting through these soundtracks that scream and shout at you "ZOMFG THIS SCENE IS EPIC, PAY ATTENTION AT YO SCREEN FOO! YOU MISSIN' THE ACTION DAWG, LOOK AT IT! IS IT EPIC FOR YOU YET?!" without being beautiful melodies or actually interesting to listen to. The SHHHHHWEEEING! and BAD-OOM! and SSSHTSHTSHTSHTSHTSH sounds in your fucking track doesn't make it more pleasant to listen to: it adds to the atmospherical value (if you're in a jungle I guess), but your song is still boring. It's like they go see a movie with a recorder and just record the silent parts of the movie, then slap it onto their soundtrack and… WTF is going on with this?! God dammit. I mean, seriously? Do you call yourself a "composer" because you go in a zoo, record animal sounds, tag a name and put it on a disc then get PAID to do that?! Fuck! I understand there's more work behind it than what I just said, but holy shit do something good with your instruments/computer, not just some background noises. It's really a shame that modern Western composers are just fucking satisfied with dumb soundtracks any musical newbie could pull out of their asses given enough talent with the hardware/software needed to put up some cheap Halloween ambience music. Is it really that
difficult to compose good music for a best-selling game when you're being paid to do so? I mean... Was it just a '90s thing to have good music? Really. Here are some example of GOOD music in video games:
-You're in an aquatic environment. You need a slower-paced song to go with the water theme stage? Oh, well, here ya go
-You're in a city of some sort, walking around and exploring a little. Why not go with something like this
-Watch out! Battle ahead!
Noticed something aside from the fact these three songs are actually really good? The composers for these are respectively David Wise, Alexander Brandon and Eveline Fischer. Yeah, three Western-sounding names. Instead of having music like these three links, we get these fucking things: x
. What's wrong with Halo's theme? It was good the first few times, now it's about 12 tracks out of 15 on the damn soundtrack (I'm exaggerating). That, and that style of music got overly done over the past few years and yeah, my tolerance for them is near zero (actually, these three aren't even the worst I could pick as examples). Would you listen to this in your car while you're jammed in traffic during rush hour? Yeah, I wouldn't because it certainly wouldn't make the ride less boring. Why is it that gamers have to pay for these kind of soundtrack, 60-fucking-dollars a game, when you can just get this kind of music
for FREE? Heck! Want something more ambiance-like? Lunia Chronicle, bitch
; still a free game and this track is freaking beautiful.
Secondly, aside from the major point that Western music is mind-blowingly bland and boring, why is it that Western composers have hard-ons for intros that last FOREVER?! An intro should NOT have to be a minute and a half long. Your song shouldn't take so long to start having a nice beat/melody to it! It shouldn't be longer than freaking 30 seconds, 45 seconds TOPS
. Geezis. "But it sets the mood" I DON'T CARE. You want good mood-setting music? Do you? HERE'S A FUCKING GOOD ONE
. God dammit, and then we think we're so much more awesome and better than the Japanese with their JRPGs. Well News Flash noobface: at least their "ridiculous" JRPGs have ridiculously sweet music
Remember the rules to submitting a request on Rainwave?
[*]It has to fit what we, the admins, want Rainwave to sound like. Our radio format is:
- Recognizable, up-tempo songs. 1-5 minutes in length with little to no silence.
This rule is the one I'm the most hard-ass about. It's fairly simple to understand, but by god do people not give a fuck about it. Or maybe people just don't get it? Well, here's in simpler words: "Without being any biased for the game itself, would you seriously listen to this during a particularly dull moment to snap you out of the boredom?". If the answer to that is no, please... Just don't bother, or at least not when the requests subforum is two+ pages long. I know we usually go for a "request away" kind of mentality, but.... Man, have I gotten an overdose of blandness this week.
I need to calm down now and review/listen to upbeat music.... At least venting helps a little.
P.S.: I target absolutely no user in particular on Rainwave with these opinions/comments/rants. Fredy, the fact I'm bitching about this on your request is a coincidence: it could have been any other request on my current queue.